•January 10, 2018 • Leave a Comment

I am full, forgive the slosh and splash. I can say that some days I am the very hum that makes the universe spin. Lazy-Susan like, I watch you grow, I watch you fade, now you are mist, now a tickle at the back of my throat. It’s gone. It’s over. We are here. We are safe. We are meant to breathe. The flags are somewhere back home, but I will sink my fingers into this new, I will grow roots, I will grow. That’s it, and what else. I will grow. They say we are water, they say we are earth. I burn, I burn, watching the stars, we burn, each squirm a hello to the unknown. I can say my energy blows it all up, out of proportion, mega distortion, et cetra, et cetra, but honestly, though, could never dwell in the mundane. Maybe that’s what I can’t fathom on quiet, methodical Sundays. That I have to exist in the mundane. I’m alive when I’m awake, my eyes, my mind, so insatiable, so young, so eager. I can say I’m a color whore, and a sucker for love, but it’s all hitting some sort of redundancy that scares me. I’m done talking, I’m done dictating, it’s all a fun word jumble now. You find the word you see. You get what you get. You aren’t timed. I find a new pleasure in sleeping, making my bed, choosing a yummy lotion, rubbing it off so that it’s delicious-scent-minus-sticky. I love the sleep I get. I love waking up and seeing the unreal fluorescent winter sun. I love staring up at the sky seeing, not seeing, who cares. It’s here, I’m here. We’re all good, and we’re all here. I’m truly living for the little moments after so long. Such stillness, I welcome. I find that it undulates and vibrates subtly, a new scene each time. And I am a happy student. I am a learning curve that is getting high.

•November 29, 2017 • Leave a Comment

Jo khana-e-lashaoor mei jagmaga raha hai..

•November 22, 2017 • Leave a Comment

We’ve spent some really lovely moments together. Thank you so much. I saw a butterfly today. In the middle of a jammed main road. I couldn’t breathe, I was so happy. It was almost ridiculous. And then I realized how many happy, almost ridiculous moments I’ve spent with you, and felt so much gratitude, and love. And I waved at the past that glows dimly, showing me how far I’ve come. I’ve leaped from season to season, ready, always, opening up like a lotus – petal by petal.

Pass

•November 18, 2017 • Leave a Comment

Flashing lights, that last puff, wait, is that what you said? Surrender, a drop of lavender wax, you, sneering. It’s all one big question mark that fades into a dull burn. Panadol. Hey do you think drugs help? Hey do you think drugs help? Hey do you think…

No, I was joking. Do you not know me? Wait, a puff. Hyper fucking aware, let water drown out my own noise, it’s here, it’s sand in your cracks. Welcome to resistance. Tension and everything. I kid, kid. I’m sitting cross-legged, eyes closed, I’m fine. Rub your hands, bright eyes, frozen smile. Are you here? Are you here? Are you..

You. Do you smell the flowers? Or is it the leaves? The stories! Do you want to smoke them? Imagine smouldering stories igniting your lungs, one night of love, of kisses stolen behind cars, of eyes locked over fire.

Mad berry. Sweet sour. Bite into bitter leather? It’s all in my head, I promise. I’ll get to it, I’ll get to it, I’ll..

Food in mouth, chew, smile, kiss. Is it weird that I suddenly remember how to fly?

Cold petals against warm feet. It’s crazy, the beauty in every second. Is that what you said?

Am I singing too loud?

On my mind

•November 16, 2017 • Leave a Comment

Synchronicity ⭐️

•November 15, 2017 • Leave a Comment

Ah. There it is. A bit of redemption in my bowl. Drink up, drink up. Last call. A flash, it’s my own bracelet, caught in the light. A fleeting kiss, a quivery wave. You are smoking and smiling at the same time. You are sitting cross-legged in front of me. Baby, what do we do today? Draw me a map to your favorite store, I’ll walk, I’ll come back, I’ll surprise you. Hey, do you remember when we walked around the streets all night? We were singing a song over and over, and holding hands. We hid from people, and sipped on whiskey in a stolen flask. We whispered and whispered. We slipped into a calm by the time the birds woke up – manic chirping- and silently watched the sun stretch out lazily to our fingertips – lightly touching- as we sat atop a broken bench.

•November 15, 2017 • Leave a Comment

There’s lipstick everywhere, there’s warm humor glowing in his eyes, it’s all turning into a crazy play, it’s all a mad, mad scramble for something we don’t even understand. What is winning, what is losing? Here, we’re just trying to stay afloat on blow-up kisses, and inflatable joy. What is the meaning of the end of the day, or the bloom of a new one? Do you actually taste the yellow on the tip of your tongue or lick the last of the salty dark? Even if I try, I will never be able to explain the depth of my surreal world. I’m still coming to terms with its nuances, myself – submerged in this scintillating soup, and stunned in the softest way.